Being a parent means you might miss those days when you had time for yourself. Then you make up your mind that you deserve to treat yourself but the guilt of the thought makes you change your mind... You are not alone! According to a senior psychologist in Behavioral Health, 'We feel guilty when we are not “working” towards something, whether that is supporting a family in the home or providing for our family with income from work outside the home'. But the truth is guilt may be our greatest inhibitor to creating a more balanced, calm and happy existence for ourselves and our families. When we are done with work, picking up the childen from school, cooking, getting the house in order and loads more...there’s typically little time or energy left for ourselves, as individuals. We expend so much of our energy helping others that helping ourselves gets lost. Or delayed. Or excused. And that can lead to psychological issues that manifest in ways that are not only detrimental to ourselves, but to our significant others, children and friends.
Experts say that "when parents take a break, they come back more refreshed, calmer and with a different mindset and this in turn brings marvelous changes in the children.” So its time to recharge and explore other things besides parenting in a completely guilt-free way.
Here are 10 ways to take guilt-free "me" time.
1. Use Your Network
This is where the saying that it takes a village to raise a child rings true. From grand parents to aunties, uncles and close neighbours, build yourself a network of people you can trust with your children and swap favours with them. Make sure you have at least an hour or two a week when you can have a bit of time doing something else and relax. When your me-time is up, your children will be glad to see you and you will be relaxed enough to spend quality time with them.2. Get your Partner Involved
It would be hard to get some me time without some team work with your spouse so that they get some personal time in return. The me time planned with your spouse could be spent togther as well to your bonds as individuals, as couples then as parents.
3. Find a Great Book
Reading is always a great way to relax and concentrate on something outside of your normal daily life. Find yourself a great book and set out the time to read it. You will certainly feel like you've taken a break!
4. Wake up before the kids
This is by far one of the best me times most parents miss out on. Most prefer to go to bed late and that in turn affects you in the morning especially when your children love to wake up early. The fact is you are better off with an early night two or three times a week. That way you can wake up before the children for a fresh and relaxed few hours. Its your choice what you do with that time. Read, pray, meditate, as long as its not the laundry! You will be suprised the effect this will have on your family and ofcourse... you!
5. Catch up with friends
This is one of the areas where we feel most guilt but it doesn't have to be an all-nighter or a shop till you drop mission. You can take time out for a catch up chat, short walks, a trip to the salon, the spa or anything else you used to enjoy with your friends. The trick is to make it simple and short, that way you can do it often and it stays absolutely guilt-free.
6. Catch up with mum
Yes. You read right. And it doesn't mean go seek advise or anything of such. As a parent most of us tend to understand and appreciate our own parents better. Spend this time doing activities that you both enjoy and that does not involve the children. Both of you will be suprised how much you both will enjoy this... as long as you keep it light and simple.
7. Develop and practice a transition period
If taking personal time is new to your family dynamic, make a plan for your departure. Explain personal time to your kids; for younger children, give them something to hold onto that reminds them of you; and do something fun and interactive with them when you return.
8. Try Gardening
If you are not already into gardening, try it. Find the space no matter how small and think of a theme. It could be herbs for the kitchen, vegetables for the family or just some lovely flowers. It is not as demanding as you think and you will get a lot of rewards and satisfaction from seeing things grow.
9. Take the other half out
Make out time once a month if possible to take your partner out. Start with simple ideas if you haven't done it in a while. Go for evening walks, see a movie, eat at a fancy restaurant or snack by the beach. You both need to remind yourselfs why you are together in the first place and this always helps.
10. Learn Something New
There must be something you didn't quite get around to doing before you started making a family. For most of us, it might not be too late. Find a local group, do some dancing, learn to swim, ride a mountain bike, knit, sew, do some pottery... you will be amazed what you will find within your neighbourhood that you could fit into. And if you do not find a group, why not start one with family and friends? If its planned out and simple enough, you will feel refreshed and learn something new as well.
Remember, you need to get some me time to be able to do all those wonderful things that parents have to do. Enjoy!
