Pre-conception, Pregnancy, Baby and You... focus on people of colour

Parenting Special- Raising Boys vs Girls

Blue for boys and pink for girls. Boys don't cry! Boys need to be tough! Girls should be more emotional! Blah blah blah! As far as our highly commercialised society is concerned, that is how it is meant to be. So is there really a difference between raising boys and raising girls? If we didn't have any influence on them, will boys play with dolls and cars and will girls be stronger and more self confident? How can parents ignore the stereotypes and raise emotionally healthy boys and help girls avoid subservient roles and achieve their full potential?
First things first. Arm yourself with vital information


Gender Roles
Children begin to identify themselves as a boy or a girl as early as 18 months. But it's between the ages of 2 and 6 that they begin to identify with others of their sex and demonstrate play and other behaviors that are characteristic of that sex. These gender roles are influenced and determined by a mix of nature and nurture and this is where parents have to determine what influences their methods of parenting. For example, most girls like pink mostly because that's what mummy, granny, aunts and uncles buy for them. They see pink so much they just get used to it. What if you NEVER bought anything pink for your little girl? Will that be an extreme move? Will she be less of a female than most other females?

Growth
Between the big growth stages from baby to teenager, boys and girls grow in height and weight at about the same slow-but-steady rate. There aren't notable differences between the sexes until late primary school, when girls start to grow taller faster, although boys catch up and exceed them within a few years. But scientists beleive that when it comes to gross motor skills boys tend to develop a little faster than girls while the fine motor skills of girls tend to develop ahead of the boys. This is the explanation given for boys being able to run, jump and balance better while girls show an interest in painting, colouring and the arts first. The most obvious behaviour that seems to back what the scientists say is the fact that girls tend to talk and develop a bigger vocabulary while the boys tend to stand and walk first.

Things to do

Let your children talk about their feelings
There is no gender difference in terms of emotional vulnerability. Everyone has feelings so
teach your children (boys and girls) to talk about their feelings. It is healthy to talk about them and deal with them appropriately. Boys should not hide their vulnerable feelings. Girls have an easier time talking about feelings because they are generally accepted to be more emotional than boys. Boys who are encouraged to show their nurturing and loving emotions will grow up to be loving fathers and do well in relationships with women. Girls who are encouraged to be assertive and self confident will have a greater chance for success in life.

Channel their energy to positive activities
Modern living restricts children's natural tendency to explore so provide children of both sexes opportunities and space to be active. This will give you a clear idea of what they like and how they play. They burn off steam, you get some exercise and learn more about your child.

Ignore stereographs
Stereotypes of boys being better at math and science have caused lower expectations of girls in the education system. It does not make any sense and hs nothing to do with facts. We should enable all children to do their best and succeed in every subject, without any presumptions that only serve to undermine their efforts.

Do not let your children's gender affect the way you raise them. Just to tune into your particular child, to notice their unique personality as it emerges. Be always aware of your own expectations and gender beliefs so that you can respond individually to what each child needs and support them in developing their full potential.